No, this won’t be the shortest blog ever written. Very funny.

As Americans nationwide gather with families and friends today to celebrate all the good that life provides, every one of us recognizes the myriad of under-appreciated positives that surround us every day.

Even Browns fans.

So amid this wretched sequence of foolishness that we in Cleveland call the 2009 NFL season, let’s stop for a moment and go around the table to give thanks for what we have going for us:

1. Joshua Cribbs

Obviously. Cribbs is the most exciting player the Browns have boasted since ‘99– if not since the days of Jim Brown. Prior to Sunday’s Cellar Dwellar slugfest in Motown, the Browns’ chances of scoring on a given possession solely depended on Cribbs’ special teams returns. Not only does the league’s top kick returner make electric plays no matter what he’s doing on the field (yes, he makes strong tackles on special teams), but he is playing for a shade under $650K this season. And while that will change significantly once this season concludes and (insert General Manager here) PAYS THE MAN for his work (hint hint), we’d better cherish him while he’s still donning brown and orange.

2. A stellar special teams unit

Browns fans tend to take for granted the fact that we have had only one kicker in the ten season since the rebirth of the franchise. Think about that– it’s a rare feat. Only David Akers (PHI), Jason Hansen (DET), and John Kasay (CAR) have been splitting the uprights for their current teams longer. The fact that the Browns have been able to rely on Phil for a solid decade (and we most definitely prefer field goals to these odd “6-point scores” that everyone seems to love these days) is something to smile about. Furthermore, did anyone stop to look at what Dave Zastudil was doing prior to his season-ending knee injury? Just putting more than half of his punts inside the 20, good for second best in the league. No big deal.

3. Shaun Rogers

And speaking of special teams, we give thanks for one of the most effective field goal blockers in the history of mankind, Shaun Rogers. The man in the middle apparently knows something about blocking kicks that nobody else does. Oxy-moronicism be damned– I am as excited as I am upset every time the opposing team is about to boot an extra point. Not to mention, Rogers is pretty much the only thing on the Dawg D that might thrust a shred of fear into the minds of running backs looking to exploit the gut. Let’s hope we either draft Ndamukong Suh or build a gigantic cloning machine to help him this offseason.

4. LeBron James plays down the street

5. Ken Dorsey is not our quarterback

Okay, this one is kind of a stretch. But let us not forget one year ago when Mr. Dorsey was our best option under center. Now, I am a staunch supporter of the Browns supporters that deem “QB controversies” irrelevant when you don’t have a reliable defense anyway. First things first, ya know? Still, the Browns are choosing between a guy with a Pro Bowl to his name and one that might have found his rhythm last week in Detroit. I know it’s not a lot– but it could be much worse.

6. Jamal Lewis is retiring after this season

If I ever see a slow running back manage to take 17 stutter steps en route to a two yard gain again after this season, I will vomit.

7. Loyal fans

As narcissistic as it may be, we ought to give thanks to ourselves. For the last five seasons, the Browns have finished in the top ten in average attendance, despite the fact that the loss column has been more crowded than Jeff Reed’s liquor cabinet. It is the nature of the Cleveland fan to uphold the romanticism of loving a team through the best and worst conditions, and that will be the case no matter how the score– or economy– falls. While rumors may spread about supposed organized “lockouts” and “late arrivals”, the unconditional loyalty of the true “Believeland” fans will persist.

So, Browns fans, when you sit down with family this Sunday afternoon to watch a team at which the rest of professional football chuckles, be thankful for what’s good.

Even if it means chest bumping over a touchback.