Don’t laugh.

It all began with a blind-siding of the malfunctioning Pittsburgh Steelers nearly two weeks ago, when the Dawg Pound was treated to the second greatest victory of the decade (just behind the playoff clincher back in ‘02). After twelve spectacularly failed attempts, the Browns finally enjoyed a victory over the black and gold– with a roster of backups and injury-fillers, no less. You could see spark reignite in the collective eyes of Cleveland fans who witnessed said historic occurrence on the Lake Erie shore. The post game interview with Joshua Cribbs that echoed on Sports Center for the subsequent 24 hours shouted a tone filled as much with relieved frustration as pride and confidence. Any true Browns fan could not help but get chills.

Fast forward to Sunday’s shootout at Arrowhead, when the Browns and Chiefs apparently agreed before the game started that the defenses weren’t allowed to use their hands. Regardless, the 17 people that were watching this one on television got to watch two Browns players run into the history books. If ever there were a football version of Prozac diagnosed specifically for Browns fans, Joshua Cribbs and Jerome Harrison played the role on Sunday– even the Hall Of Fame just down the road in Canton recognized the scope of two feats. But not only did the two bright spots solidify their names in franchise and NFL history– the team won another game. By far the most exciting “Tweet frenzy” I’ve seen from Browns backers in Twistory.

And now, just days after one of the best 14 day stretches in recent Browns history, the organization has a fresh breath of air in new team president, Mike Holmgren.

I am not a fan of retrospective logic, but try to put yourself in Holmgren’s shoes. Who knows how long he had actually been considering joining the Browns front office? All the experts say the two sides had been in contact ever since the suspicious and turmoil-filled dispatching of new GM George Kokinis earlier this year… but you have to believe that the team’s recent strides served as a weighty last minute pitch in luring Holmgren away from his supposed comfort zone in Seattle. You have to believe that Holmgren saw a rising stock and bought in.

Still, the argument persists that the Browns should be vying for a higher draft pick rather than meaningless wins in the waning weeks of the season. But let’s look closer. As competent fans would agree, the Brownies will be selecting a strong defensive presence with the first pick, regardless of where it is in the top 5 (and it WILL be in the top 5). At this point, the number one spot might become the Ndamukong Suh sweepstakes, which would be a nice addition to the front four, but I would be equally pleased with either Eric Berry or Taylor Mays plugging serious holes in the Cleveland secondary. Argument: void.

The last two weeks have been the first positives coming out of Browns camp in awhile, but their influence goes far deeper than it may seem. From fan morale, player morale, coach confidence, and GM status standpoints, the timing could not be better. And timing is everything.

Of course, if Cleveland history tells us anything, it is that Holmgren will get a paper cut while signing next week and contract a staph infection anyway. Oh well.

These teams and cities share a rich history– a common bond in their booming industrial past. For as much fanatical hatred as Cleveland and Pittsburgh faithful hold toward one another, there is an overwhelming respect for the hard-nosed NFL tradition that permeates along the Ohio-Pennsylvania border. After all, Steelers owner Dan Rooney was one of only two league owners to oppose Art Modell’s franchise thievery at the end of the 1995 season. Not to mention the number of Steeler fans that wore orange arm bands as a tribute to the rivalry in the Browns final appearance at Three Rivers Stadium before the move.

Unfortunately, in my short lifetime as a Dawg supporter, the boys in black and gold have managed to turn a thrilling rivalry into something that better resembles Quasimodo doing ballet than a clash of NFL titans.

Heading into this game, the Steelers are on a twelve game winning streak– the longest in the history of the series.

The last time the Cleveland Browns defeated the Pittsburgh Steelers was at Heinz Field on October 5, 2003.

On that date:

• Saddam Hussein was still at large.
• The European Union had 15 members instead of 27.
• Barack Obama was in the Illinois state legislature, and Sarah Palin was the chairperson of the Alaska Oil and Gas Conservation Commission.
• LeBron James was preparing for his rookie season in the NBA.
• The two defending NFL conference champions were the Oakland Raiders and Tampa Bay Buccaneers.
• New episodes of “Friends” were being aired.
• Gerald Ford and Ronald Reagan were still alive.
• Tyrone Willingham had another year at Notre Dame.
• Urban Meyer was in his first year coaching… at Utah.

And best of them all….

Four months after that game, Facebook was founded.

That night, the Brownies boasted a backfield of Tim Couch (20/25 with 2 TD passes and 1 TD run) and William Green (115 yards rushing), with names like Andre Davis, Dennis Northcutt, and Quincy Morgan catching passes. Only kicker Phil Dawson and tight end Steve Heiden remain in orange and brown today from the guys that filled up the stat sheet that game.

The Steelers, of course, handed the reins to Ben Roethlisberger one year later and have won two Super Bowls since.

But as Cleveland limps toward one final edition of the rivalry in this horrendous decade, I hold legitimate hope that the next ten years will bring brighter days to one of football’s greatest tales.

I mean, it would be hard to get much worse, right?

Right?

As Americans nationwide gather with families and friends today to celebrate all the good that life provides, every one of us recognizes the myriad of under-appreciated positives that surround us every day.

Even Browns fans.

So amid this wretched sequence of foolishness that we in Cleveland call the 2009 NFL season, let’s stop for a moment and go around the table to give thanks for what we have going for us:

1. Joshua Cribbs

Obviously. Cribbs is the most exciting player the Browns have boasted since ‘99– if not since the days of Jim Brown. Prior to Sunday’s Cellar Dwellar slugfest in Motown, the Browns’ chances of scoring on a given possession solely depended on Cribbs’ special teams returns. Not only does the league’s top kick returner make electric plays no matter what he’s doing on the field (yes, he makes strong tackles on special teams), but he is playing for a shade under $650K this season. And while that will change significantly once this season concludes and (insert General Manager here) PAYS THE MAN for his work (hint hint), we’d better cherish him while he’s still donning brown and orange.

2. A stellar special teams unit

Browns fans tend to take for granted the fact that we have had only one kicker in the ten season since the rebirth of the franchise. Think about that– it’s a rare feat. Only David Akers (PHI), Jason Hansen (DET), and John Kasay (CAR) have been splitting the uprights for their current teams longer. The fact that the Browns have been able to rely on Phil for a solid decade (and we most definitely prefer field goals to these odd “6-point scores” that everyone seems to love these days) is something to smile about. Furthermore, did anyone stop to look at what Dave Zastudil was doing prior to his season-ending knee injury? Just putting more than half of his punts inside the 20, good for second best in the league. No big deal.

3. Shaun Rogers

And speaking of special teams, we give thanks for one of the most effective field goal blockers in the history of mankind, Shaun Rogers. The man in the middle apparently knows something about blocking kicks that nobody else does. Oxy-moronicism be damned– I am as excited as I am upset every time the opposing team is about to boot an extra point. Not to mention, Rogers is pretty much the only thing on the Dawg D that might thrust a shred of fear into the minds of running backs looking to exploit the gut. Let’s hope we either draft Ndamukong Suh or build a gigantic cloning machine to help him this offseason.

4. LeBron James plays down the street

5. Ken Dorsey is not our quarterback

Okay, this one is kind of a stretch. But let us not forget one year ago when Mr. Dorsey was our best option under center. Now, I am a staunch supporter of the Browns supporters that deem “QB controversies” irrelevant when you don’t have a reliable defense anyway. First things first, ya know? Still, the Browns are choosing between a guy with a Pro Bowl to his name and one that might have found his rhythm last week in Detroit. I know it’s not a lot– but it could be much worse.

6. Jamal Lewis is retiring after this season

If I ever see a slow running back manage to take 17 stutter steps en route to a two yard gain again after this season, I will vomit.

7. Loyal fans

As narcissistic as it may be, we ought to give thanks to ourselves. For the last five seasons, the Browns have finished in the top ten in average attendance, despite the fact that the loss column has been more crowded than Jeff Reed’s liquor cabinet. It is the nature of the Cleveland fan to uphold the romanticism of loving a team through the best and worst conditions, and that will be the case no matter how the score– or economy– falls. While rumors may spread about supposed organized “lockouts” and “late arrivals”, the unconditional loyalty of the true “Believeland” fans will persist.

So, Browns fans, when you sit down with family this Sunday afternoon to watch a team at which the rest of professional football chuckles, be thankful for what’s good.

Even if it means chest bumping over a touchback.